Logo

What are some funny and smart quotes?

11.06.2025 02:52

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

A New COVID Variant Is Here, And It's More Transmissible — Here Are The Signs And Symptoms - HuffPost

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.